Which is kinda cool, ‘cos in the crowds I hang with, I’ve always kept my age a bit of a secret. I felt that I was too young to be listened to. But not anymore.
Now I feel that people are actually listening to me. It’s a bit scary. I’m so [...]
I love rain, I love looking at the moon. I love trees and clouds. I love the orthodox church service. I don’t really feel anything while I’m there crossing myself and standing up and down. Except last week when there was no one standing in front of me and I kept [...]
I can not think of the words to tell you how much I love rain. Yesterday I was walking to my car in the rain as everyone else ran into the supermarket with their heads down and their arms around themselves. I walked with my face to the sky and my eyes closed. [...]
This is where my journal ends.
I really mentally pulled out after that last journal entry. By the last session I had my chair pushed back from the circle, arms crossed, looking at the floor. I couldn’t believe I had to sit still for another 2 hours. I went for a run after [...]
Last time I went on a retreat I (again) sat where I thought God wanted me to sit. I sat under a huge tree, with a branch that grew almost along the ground before the leaves reached up to the sky. I tried to see the meaning, but was told Don’t look for [...]
I’m not going to sit in this circle, still and quiet, nodding away as we stare at shells and roses and soil and seeds. I’m going to draw.
It has just occured to me as I type this in here, why did I go to every session. Why didn’t I stay in bed, or [...]
I am not going wandering through the town, drinking coffee and eating cake. I’m staying right here by myself and I’m not going to do anything. Except jump on the trampoline, and go on the low ropes course, and play basketball, anything to get rid of the tension slowly creeping up to my brain [...]
I walk some more and see a wood pile, fire wood stacked up and waiting. I imagine the old testament prophets, God saying to them, “Behold the pile of wood. It is a pile of wood.” Hahahahaha. Thanks for that.
My feet are cold. I walk, listening to where I should stop. I stop, no a bit further, no a bit further, over towards that tree, another step – there. Stop.
I can see powerlines. They stop not far ahead where the last house stands. Beyond I can see [...]
I have decided not to listen to that little voice of God that tells me each step to take. It’s annoying – or rather it takes concentration and time and practice to listen to it. So I’m just going to sit whereever I darn well please.
I listened to the voice. [...]